Tuesday, June 15, 2010
I'm truly, truly over it. The more we try, the more we seem to fail. Financially, emotionally, physically, mentally. I feel like my marriage is in shambles. The more I try to revamp my priorities, I become side tracked. Not necessarily on purpose. Well, maybe on purpose. I find it easier to deal with other things rather than those closest to my heart. My return to work has been a lot harder than I thought, especially now that the kids are out of school for the summer. Friends who I thought were friends I am finding out only used me and never really were true. Then there are the "fair weather" friends. God forbid I need a favor. God forbid I ask you to stick around with me. I miss my real friends. Why is it so hard to make friends as an adult, and maintain friendships that were so dear to me before real life kicked in? Why can't I stop myself from trying to please everyone even though I'm really not a "people pleaser" and neglect to please those who I really should be pleasing. Does that even make sense? I feel so completely and totally inadequate in everything. I can't even sleep or eat correctly. Gigantic FAIL in life right now.