Thursday, January 29, 2009

Getting there - a day at a time...

So let's see, the start of the new year wasn't the greatest for me. Since the whole infidelity thing came out into the open, I am very happy to say that the two said friends are working on their life together and it seems that things are looking up for them. I don't know anything, however, because male spouse hates me and female spouse/friend hasn't really talked to me much since said infidelity disclosure. I understand that they are trying to quietly work things out between each other, I get it. But it makes me feel as if I have served my purpose and am no longer needed or wanted. I invited female spouse/friend for drinks one day last week, and she couldn't go, was tired, etc. I understand. She said she would offer her front porch, but it was too cold. Weeks ago I was a regular invited guest into her home, but I guess that is no more. It's very sad, and for me, seems to be a regular occurrence in my friendships. Serve my purpose, get the hell out. We have been out to our favorite watering hole the past two Fridays where male and female spouses were also there (though previously we all went together and their daughter would babysit for us) and it was very, very tense. It just sucks. That's really the only way I can explain it. It just sucks.

As for the rest of January, I have begun to work out twice a day at least 5 days per week and of course haven't dropped a pound. Oh well, It gives me a break from the kids, and a way to work out frustrations.

I went to Akron a few weeks ago with two of my friends from back home (Canton). We had a great time, something I really needed, and I think we have a plan in the works to go to Vegas or California this July. Just what the doctor ordered.
Me, Renee, & Rhiannon (In Cleveland in November for NKOTB!!)

Rhiannon & Me at the club in Akron.

So also with the start of January, came the snow, recently the 12 inches that fell on Tuesday and Wednesday of this week. I was house bound all day yesterday and broke out the 4 wheel drive last night to go to the gym. G was called out of town (surprise, surprise) for at least a week, so I'm stuck inside with the kids. Thank god for the gym! I hate snow, especially when it starts to melt, turns to slush, mud, etc. Blach. Give me Autumn, and I'd be happy. But I suppose we have seasons for a purpose, much like everything else.

I have (well, G and I) also decided to try for another baby this year before Emily and Jake get too much older. So back on clomid I go, so we'll see what happens. We've actually been at it since last year, but nothing, hence the clomid. I'm sure that my stress hasn't helped much either, but hopefully we'll get there. I'd love to have two more back to back, so each kid has a buddy close in age, but we'll see. I don't want to live in a shoe box either, so maybe just one more ;-)

I think that's it. For now.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Kicking off the New Year

I am sitting, tired as all get out, at my in-laws house on January 1, 2000 freaking 9. We had a party last night at our house, and it went really well. My old co-workers came, their friends, and we had a great time. Drank champagne and rang in the new year. Two of our friends didn't make it over until well after the ball dropped. I was a little upset, as we are particularly close with these two friends and I had looked forward to spending time with them... but I digress.

In as few words as possible, I will try to explain why this year, hands down has taken the cake as the worst new years ever. Cheating. Lying. Rock ME Hard Place. I had to break the news to one of my very good friends that their spouse was cheating. It was awful. Terrible. There are not words to describe. And I can't even really talk about it anymore, because I don't know what else to do or say to anyone anymore. I'm just sick about the whole situation, and how it all went down.

Welcome to 2009.