Thursday, January 29, 2009

Getting there - a day at a time...

So let's see, the start of the new year wasn't the greatest for me. Since the whole infidelity thing came out into the open, I am very happy to say that the two said friends are working on their life together and it seems that things are looking up for them. I don't know anything, however, because male spouse hates me and female spouse/friend hasn't really talked to me much since said infidelity disclosure. I understand that they are trying to quietly work things out between each other, I get it. But it makes me feel as if I have served my purpose and am no longer needed or wanted. I invited female spouse/friend for drinks one day last week, and she couldn't go, was tired, etc. I understand. She said she would offer her front porch, but it was too cold. Weeks ago I was a regular invited guest into her home, but I guess that is no more. It's very sad, and for me, seems to be a regular occurrence in my friendships. Serve my purpose, get the hell out. We have been out to our favorite watering hole the past two Fridays where male and female spouses were also there (though previously we all went together and their daughter would babysit for us) and it was very, very tense. It just sucks. That's really the only way I can explain it. It just sucks.

As for the rest of January, I have begun to work out twice a day at least 5 days per week and of course haven't dropped a pound. Oh well, It gives me a break from the kids, and a way to work out frustrations.

I went to Akron a few weeks ago with two of my friends from back home (Canton). We had a great time, something I really needed, and I think we have a plan in the works to go to Vegas or California this July. Just what the doctor ordered.
Me, Renee, & Rhiannon (In Cleveland in November for NKOTB!!)

Rhiannon & Me at the club in Akron.

So also with the start of January, came the snow, recently the 12 inches that fell on Tuesday and Wednesday of this week. I was house bound all day yesterday and broke out the 4 wheel drive last night to go to the gym. G was called out of town (surprise, surprise) for at least a week, so I'm stuck inside with the kids. Thank god for the gym! I hate snow, especially when it starts to melt, turns to slush, mud, etc. Blach. Give me Autumn, and I'd be happy. But I suppose we have seasons for a purpose, much like everything else.

I have (well, G and I) also decided to try for another baby this year before Emily and Jake get too much older. So back on clomid I go, so we'll see what happens. We've actually been at it since last year, but nothing, hence the clomid. I'm sure that my stress hasn't helped much either, but hopefully we'll get there. I'd love to have two more back to back, so each kid has a buddy close in age, but we'll see. I don't want to live in a shoe box either, so maybe just one more ;-)

I think that's it. For now.


Lizze said...

Okay I have about 2.5 seconds before my boys find me so this will be super short and likely not make much sense. I know you'll understand. ;) lol

Sorry about the friend. Why didn't you tell me that you were coming to town? I'd love to see you. And YAY for baby dancing and more babies! Good luck! :)

Kelly said...

I know the journey with the friend is a mess right now...but from experience I've found that when their healing gets to a better place so will your won't be as much, "the hell with you..." but maybe a bit more of " was hard, but thanks!" I may be wrong...but that was my experience...

As far as the clomid goes...good for you! Having been there I know it is not fun...(the drugs I mean)...but keep the baby making portion fun and yer set...

Regardless, I was thinking it was about time to add another neighbor to the street....I'm glad you'll be the one raising the Stonhope population!