Sunday, April 6, 2008

edited reality

I had lunch today with one of my friends whom I haven't seen in a while. We've been friends since senior year in high school, and if anyone would have told me that we would still be friends into our late 2o's and almost 30's, I wouldn't have believed them. She just went through - well, actually still going through - a divorce, and it has actually taken it's toll on G and I to. Her husband was G's friend in high school and college, and that's how we met. The 4 of us were great friends, moved to the same town, got married, had kids the whole nine. When their marriage fell apart, I got stuck in the middle, as I always do, and, long story short, the four of us split in half. So anyway, they have both gone onto date seriously other people, which is fine, but I don't think anyone is telling the whole story.

I don't think anyone communicates fully with anyone anymore. Even now, as I type, I am holding back certain information. I wish there was no reason to edit anything - thoughts, feelings, likes, dislikes, - just let it all out. But there is no possibility of this.

So friend and I were having lunch today, and I felt like she was holding back, not saying what she wanted to, and not opening up about what was really going on. I felt the same way.

When did it all change? When did it become uncomfortable to speak the truth?

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